As the leader of a company, and a self-confessed extrovert, I’m constantly communicating: phone calls, e-mails, IMs, Facebook and Twitter messages, blog posts and comments, presentations and panels. It’s a pretty exhausting list, and each has its own unique set of protocols and time commitment.
I’ve noticed that while new avenues for interaction increase communication opportunities, my ability to effectively use these various tools is diminished a little each time I add a new one. Not to mention that adding too many social media tools decreases my ability to spend time hanging out in real life, where, let’s face it, the majority of business and real conversation happens.
Social media conversations have their place—to create and maintain connections based on shared values. They allow us to connect in a deeper, ongoing sense with people without a lot of effort, and that’s a plus.
And yet, there is a growing sense of anxiety that we can’t keep up with it all. While I’m committed to a few online communities and platforms, I will not sacrifice my face-to-face connections. Nor do I want to transition all my online connections into the face-to-face environment. At the same time, I will never shut myself off from connecting with more people. Social media conversation for sure, but face-to-face conversations as well! Consistently and with passion!
But that’s sometimes easier said than done. Are you feeling this same anxiety? And how are you handling it?
Share your thoughts with Duncan here or on his Twitter page.
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You have read my mind! I too have been feeling this overwhelming anxiety of trying to keep up with the many communications channels now available to us — whether personal or professional. We need to remember that there is no substitute for the face-to-face or ‘live’ voice/phone call. And, also, just shutting it all down and having some peace and quiet.
Duncan, you are so right that social media is one way to start and maintain connections but it cannot be a replacement for face-to-face interaction. Case in point, I was in your Cultural Tourism break-out session on using social media. While the information and case studies were good, nothing beat the chance to meet the “Yats Guy” face-to-face, hear his enthusiasm for finding ways to connect in person with all his new social media friends and fans.
Nancy: There are lots of people that are feeling the anxiety! At the end of the day, social media has its own protocol, rules and such. But it is a tool. Like any tool, its power and usage is and should be determined by the user! I think being strategic is the best approach!
Nancy: the premise is to connect over shared interests or values. While social media can help overcome challenges posed by space and time, it is no match for the warmth and immediate physicality that in person connections provide. Strangely, I’ve met a few avid social media people that were introverted in person. So perhaps there is an opportunity for introverts to use the medium to extend their reach as well. Thoughts?
I feel your pain. One frustration I’ve had is the temptation to feel like you have to keep up with it all. Obviously, it is next to impossible to keep up with every tweet, Facebook wall post, or shared item on Google Reader. It is difficult to find the ideal balance to maintain where you both feel like you are adequately utilizing the social media you are immersed in, yet not obsessing over it. If you can find this ideal point as well as continue to still maintain the perfect balance with face-to-face communication, please be sure to let me know how you did it!
I am not feeling this anxiety at all. I actually feel quite the opposite. Not about the face to face interaction, which is something that I feel is a must in most situations (OK, not most, some) but rather the way that social media is taking over our lives.
As a graphic designer I was always told that I needed to fill my portfolio with quality work and that if I wanted to get anywhere it needed to be online. I interviewed with several firms that asked if my portfolio was online and when I said yes it came to them as a shock. One firm, in particular, stated that they received over one hundred applicants a week. Out of those applicants only three or four had a portfolio online. Basically the point of that is that if you did not have an online portfolio, no matter how talented you may be, your application hit the trash can.
How does that apply to social media? Well, not only are designers being put into this mold any longer. I am actually in the process of building an infrastructure of social media as it relates to a business and why it is importance, rather necessary, for the businesses success and figure. In this, to save time and space, I speak about how not only do you need a website (taking all this from a personal standpoint to make my point here) but you need to start all the way back at the beginning. You need a brand. That leads to a business card. That then leads to a website, a MySpace, a facebook, a Twitter, etc. etc. etc. But it all goes back to the brand that started it all.
But the point I am trying to make here is not that not only to i embrace the technology (that is all free by the way) I am using to speak on behalf of my other tools. Let’s post a blog about how my Twitter page is affecting my facebook page. I post Tweets about new blogs. It all works in a big circle of excitement. But where does this lead us in the future?
I feel that within our lifetime, say the next fifteen years, nearly all business related communication will be done online. It will be done via email. It will be done via text message. The way the Internet is changing to a more polished (lazy) way of allowing us to connect to people all over the world the more we are moving to a text based society. It is similar to a cashless society. Technology was put into place to make things more efficient and easier to get things accomplished. If I can be on the golf course and send a text message to a client confirming a project, why do I need to do that in person? I might miss my tee time!
I agree that Face-to-Face connections cannot be forgotten! Given the fact that such a small % of communication sits with the actual words used, the social networking model is potentially missing many elements of effective communication. Body language, tone of voice, eye and hand gestures are all necessary tools to communicate. Although using the social networking sites can be time saving and enlightening, we need to make every effort to continue creating real face-to-face conversations in our lives otherwise our social skills will begin to deteriorate. Joking with someone I met recently at a seminar, we exchanged twitter account information so we could become “besties” online and never have to see each other again. A joke for sure, but the reality of this statement is scary……
Sheryl: I feel you on the pressure to keep up. I make it a point to check out a lot of new things but I don’t commit to all new things. Whats your process for adoption?
Sarah: You’re absolutely right about the millions of subtle nuances of body language, tonality, and so on. I remember talking to Rob Key from Converseon about this. Its an evolving area in social media communication analysis. We use a combination of automated and manual analysis. I make it a point to do as many meetings (that make sense) in person. I have some besties online and it feels weird sometimes.
Ricky: do you think your energy and commitment/lack of anxiety re: social media is sustainable? Also what level of engagement do you have with the field at the moment?
You’re so right, Duncan! I have definitely felt the anxiety of keeping up; especially since I’m on the job hunt! Whenever I get an email, DM or reply on Twitter, or facebook message my anxiety of promptly responding definitely sets in and if I do not do it right away I fear that the person may think “I’m not interested” anymore (especially with job/career opportunities). If THAT doesn’t say anything about the power of social media then I don’t know what does! We drive ourselves crazy with social media in hopes to reach a goal, find opportunities, or just to meet new friends…and I love it!
However, I do strongly believe having the face-to-face communication is key. Introverts may hide behind their online presence, but what happens once they meet that higher executive face-to-face? We must have the personal communication skills to attain the ultimate credibility to the online presence. Do you agree?
Great post!
It never fails to surprise me what kind of opportunities await if pursued diligently. While not every investment like this pays off in the grand scheme, it’s a game of numbers. If we patiently pursue enough contacts in the right channels over time with great expectations we will reach our goals.
Relationships of any sort require a level of energy invested; whether that includes face time or online presence, what’s ultimately required to maintain interest is an upkeep in communication on a regular basis. I do agree that this can be highly time consuming and we are easily inundated with information if not kept in check. It’s a fine balance; we need to know and define what it is that we want to achieve up front and set/communicate intelligent parameters aiming skillfully at the desired target.
To keep a handle on things I’m limiting myself to a few main social media management tools with mobile offerings so as to stay connected continuously. I’m also making it a priority to get out from behind the screen to attend meetups on a regular basis so as to engage face to face with new people and continuously build my circle of influence. While pursuing new relationships I am mindful to continue depositing quality time into my existing meaningful relationships. In addition, I tend to separate business from personal published content so as to delineate what type of relationship I will have with any audience I am choosing to engage.
One thing that’s key for me is authentic representation of your persona across all channels and especially face to face. We set expectations by what we broadcast and should carefully choose what we are publishing and the means by which we do so. Failure to follow through creates confusion and lowers your credibility overall. Lastly, if you show up at a meetup and you are nothing like what you have broadcasted you are not likely to be received well. If you’re trying to be something you’re not it will surface.
So for me the keys are:
1) Perseverance
2) Limited strategic channels of social management
3) Pursuit of new relationships while upkeeping existing relationships
4) Clearly defined goals and association of parameters to applicable relationships
5) Authenticity
Social media is a blessing. I’ve relied on it for years. I go back to the days of visiting the old bulletin boards on a 600 baud modem. Then came the days of Prodigy, Genie, and Compurserve. I still maintain a Delphi forum and a Yahoo! group to communicate with friends of my small online business. I have added blogging and Twitter into the mix.
As an elementary school teacher and now retired and working at home. The job did not allow for much interaction with adults. Obviously being retired and working at home doesn’t lend itself well to meeting new people or keeping in touch with the real world. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid the fate of many others my age who have lost their enthusiasm, resist change, and simply drop out. It has to be social media.
I DO have the time to keep up with it all. My regret is that I have not efficiently utilized the conduit that social media provides. My face-to-face experiences are at a level far below what one would expect for someone with my relatively high online profile and awareness.
I absolutely agree. One can only Twitter his Wiki while Facebooking his MySpace update about LinkingIn with the guy who blogs about feeding his RSS so much. Fark! It’s so f-Ning crazy and tough to keep up. Keeping up with all of this Web 2.0 mania is getting me down. That said, there’s no better way to catch up with the past in present tense with folks that mattered in your life decades ago.
Those people still matter. Yes, I want to know that an old Boy Scout friend of mine’s horse almost had a broken leg a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know why, but now, I’m finding that more and more people matter to me on a daily basis–who I haven’t heard from in years. And, I can do so from one convenient location! Well, sure, spanning several accounts and websites, but all in front of my magic, glowing box, whether I’m at my desk or away with a smaller, glowing hand-held box. It’s truly magic. Well, actually, science, but it is astonishing.
That’s just for personal online connections. For businesses, social networking is imperative these days. There’s no better way for them to connect with their customers, and establish a service oriented relationship. Customers’ pains are easily discovered and innovation and customer-focused products and services gleaned from Web 2.0 social networks will only improve their products, services, and bottom lines.
Personal attention and peers meeting in the flesh will never be replaced. Face up to it. Face-to-face communication is still the best way to grow friendships and business relationships. Social media augments that in astounding, wonderful ways.
But I’ll always prefer a hug or a handshake.
For more than that, there’s always Craigslist!
Kevin excellent point with social media having lots of applications beyond marketing in areas such as customer service, product development, ideation/innovation, HR, and more.
Thomas - some relationships are best left online. Others such as the Thai Club begin online, are coordinated online but actually culminate in real time with face to face communications. Do you think coffee shops are sort of like chat rooms?
Suzanne - bravo! Thats certainly a great list. Being consistently authentic online and face to face is pretty critical.I agree with you completely in that relationships are like plants - they require attention and care.
I remember when I posted my first Twitter update. It went something like, “This is kinda creepin’ me out.” It felt especially creepy when my first unknown follower seemed to magically pop up. Now I enjoy Twitter; although, I do want to spend more time on it. Sometimes I crave logging on to check in! In the same way, I actually feel like I crave being with people more too. There is simply not an equal replacement for a face-to-face conversation. I think that one of the key benefits of face-to-face communication is building trust. Trust can surely be reinforced by other forms of consistent, reliable communication. But meet someone in person and you take the relationship to an entirely different level, if both parties are open to another level of relation. Telling a client that their deadline cannot be met and seeing the disappointment, or anger, in their eyes, feels entirely different in person than through text or over the phone. Similarly, sharing a revolutionary idea or extraordinary results with a client, and feeling their thrill, in person, makes a stronger impact. Take it even further to an intimate relationship. An internet relationship won’t be fully actualized until the two people embrace – not necessary for a strong relationship, but entirely different. So maybe I’ll run it all together and make my next post say, “Meet me at Starbucks on Mass. Ave.!”
I used to feel some anxiety about keeping up with it all, but after being honest with myself about how much I can actually handle has given me peace. Sure, there is the lure of joining additional groups, but will it bring me any satisfaction if I am spread too thinly? Knowing yourself and your limits is key!
I do think people are aching for more face-to-face in our world (when I tossed out the idea for a dining club on Facebook and Twitter the response was overwhleming). Turning online friends into in-person friends is an awesome experience everyone should try!
I enjoyed reading your post today.
As for your question about anxiety, I try to not worry too much. The multiple forms of social media available today can be overwhelming. I make an effort to utilize only a few of the options. I use Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIN and IM. Anything beyond those, I keep track of through my friends and colleagues. I try not to keep up with the latest and greatest because they are constantly changing.
I prefer to have an actual face-to-face interaction with the people in my network. As such, the social media tools are just that tools in the absence of the face-to-face.
All this being said, I love the days when I step away from technology and go for a run, bike ride, or attend social event.
Anthony: clearly choosing platforms based on needs, values, and audience is a fantastic approach, especially as a filler when you can’t meet personally. Of course face to face is still best.
Now there are things that social media offers that sometimes you can’t do in real life as easilly - say look an entire album of photos, or listen to a dj in person.
Sarah: Moving online connections into the person to person space is a wonderful idea/strategy!
Joellyn: loved your point that critical ideas re: creativity should always be presented in person!