Fresh out of college, I clamored for a mentor, convinced it would help my career. But when I didn’t find a structured program to help me identify a wise adviser, I settled for going it alone.
A funny thing happened along the way. I landed a job and discovered that I was surrounded by mentors. I didn’t need to sign up to receive one—I had instant access to 25. Add in clients, professors and classmates, and I was instantly linked in to the city’s best PR minds.
During the last several years, I’ve taken advantage of that network and learned more than I ever could with a single, designated mentor. I’ve talked to colleagues, friends, bosses and protégés about the industry, mistakes to avoid and opportunities to grasp. We shared successes and failures over informal lunches, cocktails and business trips—not once-a-quarter scheduled coffee breaks.
My message here is not to dissuade anyone from seeking out a mentor. Instead, it’s to point out something it took me several years to realize: Everyone is a mentor—even someone who graduated more recently than you did. Whether it’s teaching a supervisor about new techniques or sharing best practices with a newbie, we all have something to offer, and to learn.
How have you been mentored in the past month? How have you acted as a mentor? And what did you learn?
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What Kristen humbly overlooks is her own complicity in her ongoing mentoring. She makes this mentoring-from-all-directions possible because she is open to it. Too many people spend their days blind to the learning opportunities around them, usually because they think they’ve already learned all they need to know. Kristen, however, seems to never lose her desire to learn. A smart, hard-working professional, she could do well with only her natural skills and talent. However, she will continue to grow and develop because of her expectation that she can learn something from just about everyone. In that example, she can be a mentor to us all.
Kristen, I thoroughly enjoyed your post. It made me stop. It made me reflect on my past month. And mostly it made me smile. I’ve had my share of great mentors in my professional career. And I’ve learned more than I could ever imagine in the three short years I’ve been in it. But I think it’s my personal mentors that I value the most. The ones that are there no matter how devastating the situation or how thrilling it may be. The ones that never give you the answer, but always lead you in the right direction. The ones that open your eyes to something you never saw there. Now, on the flip side of that, I’ve very recently noticed how my mentoring to my daughter is really starting to shape who she is. A little scary? Oh yeah! A little rewarding? More than you could know! So, I’ve answered two of your three questions. Now for the last one, “What did you learn?” Time and time again, when I read something like your post or view something random in life, something that makes me stop in my crazy, mixed up, roller coater life. I always go back to an old saying, “Take time to stop and smell the roses.” Sure I didn’t learn anything, BUT it reminded me of what’s important. So thank you. Thank you for making me stop. (You’re such a great mentor!)
Kristen - I loved this post. Thank you for helping us all redefine what it means to be and have a mentor. We definitely can learn from all and the traditional relationship of mentor to mentee has never really worked for everyone. I think mentoring is an organic relationship. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for being a great example for all of us!
As someone who has benefited from being mentored by people younger than me (mainly because there ARE no people older than me), I just want to say thank you to Kristen and people like her. I try to be open to the possibility that everyone has something to teach me, and whether they’ve been on the job a day or a decade, I’m rarely disappointed.
Amy P., you are so right about how a mentor’s value really lies in leading you in the right direction, not telling you how to get there.
And, just to continue the little lovefest that’s going on here, I’ll just say from personal experience that all four people who have commented on this blog have impacted my life in that way! So, thank you!